OOTD Lunch Date

Scarf - Primark

Black Long Sleeve Top - Primark

Jeans - ASOS Curve

Boots - H+M

I thought that since I lost 2lbs this week, I deserved a Frankie and Benny's. So, I've probably now put my 2lbs back on.

New Shoes and my face

I picked up these beauties today.

H+M - £24.99.

Cue how to style post.

Also, since I'm super vain and I take a lot of selfies, here is today's:

I was super pleased because I finally achieved my first contouring success! Go me!

Contouring and FOTD imminent.

What's in my bag?

So, since I've finally gotten off of my backside and decided that I never follow anything through, I decided to give MissionImbeautiful a complete overhaul and a brand spanking new look. Ta da!

To start off 2016, I thought a What's in My Bag post would be fun, since I've never written one (not that I post a lot anyway).

My bag itself is from Next, I got it in the sales after Christmas, so it's only a month or so old.

What's in it though?

Sure Anti-Perspirant - How people leave the house without deodorant or anti-p is beyond me, what if you have to run for the bus or something? Everyone needs a freshen up during the day.

Slimming World Folder - Everything I need to stick to my diet. This baby is my bible of food right now.

Nivea Hand Cream - Cold weather makes my digits especially dry, which is never comfortable.

Lush Bubblegum Lip Scrub - For no other reason than it just smells and tastes delicious.

Soap and Glory Mini Hand Maid - Seriously, I am touching no public toilet or wash basin without anti-bacterial gel to finish.

Dry Shampoo - I have a fringe. Enough said.

Iphone Headphones - Nothing fancy, I got them with my Iphone 6s.

Next Purse - For obvious reasons, this was a Christmas gift. The boyfriend is especially observant and picked this up after he saw me fawning over it.

Unicorn Socks - So, I never know when I might take the kids to soft play or something. I always have spare socks. These cuties are from ASOS.

Tangle Teaser - Again, fringe and I only have to have my hair blown on by a fly and it matts.

Glasses - These aren't Gok Wan, I just lost the original case, because I'm useless. I hate these glasses, I'm just too lazy to get a new pair.

Kindle - I cannot stand public transport without something to occupy myself. You know that awkward moment, when you look around a bus and accidentally make eye contact with Mr B.O? Yeah. That reason.

Camera - This is a pretty old camera now, a few years old anyway. It's a Panasonic Lumix DMC-LZ20. It still takes pretty good pictures, so I see no sense in updating.

Make-up bag - My make-up bag is from Primark, in it I have:

- 4  makeup brushes

-Benefit Porefessional

-Maybelline Baby Skin Pore Eraser

-RIMMEL Hide The Blemish Concealer

-Maybelline Brow drama

-MAC Kohl Power Eye Pencil

-MAC Mascara X

-SEVENTEEN Make Your Mark Eyeliner Pen

-RIMMEL Stay Matte Powder

-GOSH Foundation Drops

Thanks for reading♥

A new me?

I'm assuming that most people have heard of Slimming World, or is that just a UK thing? Nevermind. I started Slimming World last Tuesday and in my first week I have lost 5lbs, yes 5lbs in 7 days. 

At first I was a bit dubious of starting, because I have tried so many diets and eating plans and I just never stick to them. 

My problem is that I have suffered with bulimia, when I tell people this their automatic response is, ''But you're fat..''. Here's a fact for you, most people with bulimia are over weight. Bulimia does not help weight loss because when you purge you only purge 50% of what you've eaten. If you have binged and had 5000 calories, then you are only getting rid of 2500. The next response people have is, ''Why don't you just stop doing it...''. This is essentially the same as telling someone with depression to cheer up or someone with anxiety to calm down, these comments are unhelpful and uneducated. 

I have had bulimia for eight years, it comes and goes depending on my self-esteem or how I am feeling towards food. The problem is that I cannot eat without feeling guilty, I don't binge and purge as such, I just feel guilty about eating ANYTHING. I have now had a few months of therapy and it has worked wonders. I have currently now not purged for two weeks, which is a big deal for me. 

So, I decided to join Slimming World, its relatively easy, they give you a pack with everything you need to know about the plan. 

Alot of foods are free, as long as they have nutrional value, like veg and fruit, pasta, rice, beans, ect. You have two healthy extras a day, an A and a B. A is Dairy, like milk and cheese. B is grains, like bread or weetabix, breakfast cereals. So you choose from those two, which you will have and anything else you want from those is counted....as syns. You have 15 syns a day, different foods are a different amount of syns, for example, a big mac is around 24 syns and a square of chocolate is 1.5syns. I generally save my syns for the evening times so I can have a little bit of chocolate and an icecream or something, this way I do not feel deprived or even like I am on a diet at all. 

I have literally eaten everything this past week; fryups, spag bol, curry, burgers. Everything just has to be cooked from scratch, which I can assure is ten times more satisfying than a jar or packet and much more filling in my opinion. 

I strongly recommend anyone that wants to lose weight, to find a slimming world group in your area and join it!

Love anew

At some point, everyone has to move on from something. School, Careers, Phases....Some things are much harder to move on from than others. My marriage ended in June 2014. The reasons are not going to be written about. But it was tough, mother of two turned single mother of two over night. It did take a while, but one day, it just clicked that I didn't need to mope anymore, there was no need for being forlorn and feeling sorry for myself and I met someone new relatively quickly, I know that sounds bad but I am finally happy. 

So, how do you move on?

1. Remember that everyone moves on in different ways, some people go off the rails and some people take their time and move on quietly and on their own. However you personally feel the need to move on is up to you and nobody can tell you that you are wrong. (Unless moving on involves murdering your ex partner, please refrain from this).

2. Give yourself time. Don't go rushing into a new relationship straight after ending your current. Granted, this does go well for some people. But try to take a few months to be by yourself and re-discover yourself as a person. 

3. Keep busy. Get a hobby, focus on friends, children if you have them. It will honestly be much easier to move on if you keep your mind off of it. I soon forgot that I was even sad by keeping myself occupied.

4. If children are involved then please please please, do not belittle or talk bad about your ex partner in front of them. As tempting as it may be, refrain from forcing your own opinions onto your children, it is their parent after all and they are entitled to have a relationship with them, regardless of your opinion. All too often I see parents bitching about the other to each other, this only confuses children and makes a hard situation even harder for them. They shouldn't have to choose sides. 

5. Be fair. Regardless of what has happened, if you have a house shared together that you have both put time and money into, they both deserve an equal share, it is far better to sort that between yourselves than go through another route.

6. Try not to dwell on things. During a break up, a lot of things are said or done that you will end up regretting, I highly suggest just letting them go. Whats the point in keeping in grudges? It only makes things harder when you are forced communicate. 

I am lucky enough to have met someone that has taken on my children like they are his own, I cannot fault him. He is honestly one of the most generous men I have ever met and I didn't know that I could be this happy. We have already had such amazing adventures together since we met and I hope that we have many many more.

OOTD Wednesday Walk

Dress: Primark

Jacket: New Look Inspire Range

Leggings: H+M Mama Maternity (Oh so comfy, even after pregnancy)

Shoes: Primark

Belt: Primark 

My awful birth experience

(Warning: May gross some people out, also very long)

Where to start?

The first thing I can say is, Wowee. It's been a tough week. Last Friday, I woke up and was surprised to find...my waters had broken whilst I was asleep, panic stations! Dan was due home that day thank goodness, so I phoned my Mum and it was a good job she urged me to go to the hospital because I honestly thought I had just wet myself in my sleep. The hospital confirmed that my waters were indeed leaking and that I would be having Daisy-Mae soon, they told me to go home and wait for labor to start, if it didn't then I should go back the next morning to be induced. What followed was both very traumatic and very horrific for me, it might not seem that way to readers but I can honestly say, I have been put off ever having anymore children. 

My contractions started early evening, they weren't very strong, barely even painful and didn't progress, not even as I pottered around mcdonalds and home getting my stuff ready. I was asked to go in to hospital on Saturday, 12th April to be induced, but since I was already contracting a little, they popped a pessary in my....noo-nah and I received some fairly painful tummy aches in return. This is apparently because it makes your cervix soften. So, lots of pain..contractions had stopped. By the time Sunday morning came, I was tired, frustrated, in pain and they barely even checked on me, I felt bottom priority, despite being three weeks early and the fact that my waters had now been leaking for over two days (Dangerous chance of infection). After a whole day of waiting, watching all the other mothers be moved on to have their babies, I was finally called in for induction at 1.00pm, by 1.30pm the cannula was in and contractions had started mildly, I was only 1-2 centimetres dilated and within an hour, I was in a lot of pain. By 4.00pm I asked for Gas and Air and they kept on turning up the dosage of syntocinon and although being instructed not to turn it above 24, they didn't listen and cranked it up to 40, this is where things got horrendous. The pain I felt, was nothing I had experienced before, with Skye, I breezed through labor and didn't make a sound. My mum says she can't stop thinking about the screaming and that she will have nightmares about it for a very long time. Daniel was so upset that he had to leave the room for a little while to calm himself down. They didn't offer me any other pain relief than the gas and air, which eventually had no effect and I spent the next 6 hours screaming, being told to stand up to help things along (Which is difficult to do when you can't stand the pain). After 10 hours of agony, I found out I was only 4cm dilated and I cried and cried and cried at my Mum that I couldn't physically take anymore, it was incredibly traumatic for me. They finally offered me an emergency cesarean and needless to say I just wanted it over with. 

The cesarean was a very strange experience. They numb your body through your spine from the chest down, literally like being paralyzed. You stay awake during a cesarean and I had no idea they had even started, until she said, ''Nearly through the womb''. The surgeons were absolutely lovely to both me and Dan. I felt some tugging, Dan said when he looked, they were pulling and stretching my stomach quite violently, which would explain why I feel so bruised. Finally we heard a cry and they asked Dan to cut the cord. I couldn't hold Daisy-Mae, because my arm had also gone numb and I ended up smacking her in the face, so Dan held her near to me so we could have skin to skin contact. 

So, the next morning I was very upset, tired and very very very sore. Traumatized seems like such a dramatic word and it only got worse. Dan went home with my Mum at 10 in the morning to have some sleep and whilst he was gone...Daisy-Mae stopped breathing properly, she went blue and it was the scariest moment of my life, when I buzzed for the nurse, they didn't talk, they just...took her away to intensive care and left me waiting. It took them until 9.00pm to tell us that we could see her and to move me into a room of my own away from the other mothers and babies. 

When we got to the NICU, Daisy-Mae had tubes and wires and drips hanging out of her and I just burst into tears, I've never seen Dan cry....and he broke down, which made me worse. So for four days, we just...waited, I expressed breast milk for her and finally had a cuddle and changed her nappy until she was allowed back in with me. I can't imagine how parents of even poorlier children cope, because it was the hardest four days ever. I did get told off once or twice because ''A cesarean is major surgery! You should be resting, not walking around here all the time! You need to take care of yourself too!'' How could I possibly rest? Knowing that my baby was in that incubator all alone? 

Finally, we are home. I am on a ton of pills because during the week in hospital, I became anaemic and my blood pressure rocketed to dangerous levels, I also have to inject myself with blood thinner and have a lot of painkillers due to the surgery. Daisy-Mae is 5lbs12oz and was born at 2.40am on 14th April 2014.

BUT, despite the week we had, we are finally home, safe and sound with our gorgeous children. I have to rest for 6 weeks (Impossible). Skye is ecstatic to have such a gorgeous baby sitter and she is going to be a great big sister.