OOTD Wednesday Walk

Dress: Primark

Jacket: New Look Inspire Range

Leggings: H+M Mama Maternity (Oh so comfy, even after pregnancy)

Shoes: Primark

Belt: Primark 

My awful birth experience

(Warning: May gross some people out, also very long)

Where to start?

The first thing I can say is, Wowee. It's been a tough week. Last Friday, I woke up and was surprised to find...my waters had broken whilst I was asleep, panic stations! Dan was due home that day thank goodness, so I phoned my Mum and it was a good job she urged me to go to the hospital because I honestly thought I had just wet myself in my sleep. The hospital confirmed that my waters were indeed leaking and that I would be having Daisy-Mae soon, they told me to go home and wait for labor to start, if it didn't then I should go back the next morning to be induced. What followed was both very traumatic and very horrific for me, it might not seem that way to readers but I can honestly say, I have been put off ever having anymore children. 

My contractions started early evening, they weren't very strong, barely even painful and didn't progress, not even as I pottered around mcdonalds and home getting my stuff ready. I was asked to go in to hospital on Saturday, 12th April to be induced, but since I was already contracting a little, they popped a pessary in my....noo-nah and I received some fairly painful tummy aches in return. This is apparently because it makes your cervix soften. So, lots of pain..contractions had stopped. By the time Sunday morning came, I was tired, frustrated, in pain and they barely even checked on me, I felt bottom priority, despite being three weeks early and the fact that my waters had now been leaking for over two days (Dangerous chance of infection). After a whole day of waiting, watching all the other mothers be moved on to have their babies, I was finally called in for induction at 1.00pm, by 1.30pm the cannula was in and contractions had started mildly, I was only 1-2 centimetres dilated and within an hour, I was in a lot of pain. By 4.00pm I asked for Gas and Air and they kept on turning up the dosage of syntocinon and although being instructed not to turn it above 24, they didn't listen and cranked it up to 40, this is where things got horrendous. The pain I felt, was nothing I had experienced before, with Skye, I breezed through labor and didn't make a sound. My mum says she can't stop thinking about the screaming and that she will have nightmares about it for a very long time. Daniel was so upset that he had to leave the room for a little while to calm himself down. They didn't offer me any other pain relief than the gas and air, which eventually had no effect and I spent the next 6 hours screaming, being told to stand up to help things along (Which is difficult to do when you can't stand the pain). After 10 hours of agony, I found out I was only 4cm dilated and I cried and cried and cried at my Mum that I couldn't physically take anymore, it was incredibly traumatic for me. They finally offered me an emergency cesarean and needless to say I just wanted it over with. 

The cesarean was a very strange experience. They numb your body through your spine from the chest down, literally like being paralyzed. You stay awake during a cesarean and I had no idea they had even started, until she said, ''Nearly through the womb''. The surgeons were absolutely lovely to both me and Dan. I felt some tugging, Dan said when he looked, they were pulling and stretching my stomach quite violently, which would explain why I feel so bruised. Finally we heard a cry and they asked Dan to cut the cord. I couldn't hold Daisy-Mae, because my arm had also gone numb and I ended up smacking her in the face, so Dan held her near to me so we could have skin to skin contact. 

So, the next morning I was very upset, tired and very very very sore. Traumatized seems like such a dramatic word and it only got worse. Dan went home with my Mum at 10 in the morning to have some sleep and whilst he was gone...Daisy-Mae stopped breathing properly, she went blue and it was the scariest moment of my life, when I buzzed for the nurse, they didn't talk, they just...took her away to intensive care and left me waiting. It took them until 9.00pm to tell us that we could see her and to move me into a room of my own away from the other mothers and babies. 

When we got to the NICU, Daisy-Mae had tubes and wires and drips hanging out of her and I just burst into tears, I've never seen Dan cry....and he broke down, which made me worse. So for four days, we just...waited, I expressed breast milk for her and finally had a cuddle and changed her nappy until she was allowed back in with me. I can't imagine how parents of even poorlier children cope, because it was the hardest four days ever. I did get told off once or twice because ''A cesarean is major surgery! You should be resting, not walking around here all the time! You need to take care of yourself too!'' How could I possibly rest? Knowing that my baby was in that incubator all alone? 

Finally, we are home. I am on a ton of pills because during the week in hospital, I became anaemic and my blood pressure rocketed to dangerous levels, I also have to inject myself with blood thinner and have a lot of painkillers due to the surgery. Daisy-Mae is 5lbs12oz and was born at 2.40am on 14th April 2014.

BUT, despite the week we had, we are finally home, safe and sound with our gorgeous children. I have to rest for 6 weeks (Impossible). Skye is ecstatic to have such a gorgeous baby sitter and she is going to be a great big sister. 

Meaningful Monday

Every Monday, I plan to post about something meaningful, it could be a happy topic, advice, a topic that people find hard to talk about or something that I feel strongly about.

This weeks topic will be about coping with young children during a second or subsequent pregnancy, since this is something that I am currently experiencing in my own life, if this even helps one person then it will be worthwhile. 

Today, I am 34 weeks pregnant, I have a very active four year old and at the moment it's getting hard for me to keep up with her, whilst doing housework/cooking/errands amongst other things, I find myself feeling exhausted by four o'clock and wanting to lounge around. Currently, things are particularly hard because:

A) My husband is away with his ship until 9th April

B) I live an hour or so's drive away from family members

C) I have only recently moved house so I don't have many friends around me.

A lot of people are unhelpful, unless they have had children themselves, they don't grasp how exhausting pregnancy is at the best of times, let alone having to run around after a hyperactive child too, so the most help I would get out of them is, ''You chose to marry a sailor and you chose to get pregnant, get on with it''. I am a stay at home mother, so some of my advice may not be relevant to working mothers.

Here are a few tips from myself and other friends that are currently pregnant with second children:

1. Don't be too hard on yourself, naturally your patience is shorter due to the hormones flooding your body. When you feel yourself getting worked up, leave the room for a few moments and breath. Removing yourself from a situation is far better than taking things too far and upsetting a child.

2. Don't be embarrassed to ask for, or accept help. The chances are, grandma/auntie/god-parents/friends would be happy to give you a hand and take the little one off your hands for an hour or so, even if you use that time to have a cup of tea, put your feet up and have a power nap, that extra hour to yourself will make a world of difference!

3. Sleep at a reasonable time. This was my biggest mistake, I would put Skye to bed, come downstairs and slob out for hours and hours with Dan, playing Xbox or watching movies. Come morning time, I would feel awful and unrested. Get a head start on bed-time, as soon as the first is in bed (hopefully they are good sleepers) have a warm bath or shower, put on some clean pjs and grab a warm milky drink and a book. I find that reading in bed half an hour before sleeping helps my brain to settle, rather than having tons of technology around me 

4. Pre-School. If money allows, or if your child is over three, take advantage of the fact that they can get 15 hours free childcare. This is a lifesaver, during most of the time Skye is at pre-school I rest and catch up on washing or something. I really appreciate those few hours to myself and I feel much more relaxed after that.

5. Structured activities. Some children have very short attention spans, this makes it even harder to keep them occupied because you have to have activity after activity available. Planning your day accordingly, if you do have a child that isn't occupied for long, will help because it ensures that you aren't running yourself ragged trying to find something else for them to do. For example: Painting, Play-do, a trip to the park, puzzles or games are all things that most children enjoy (Plus, if you tidy up after each small activity, it saves your child trashing the house in boredom and there is less to do at the end of the day). 

6. Get the little one involved! When I first got pregnant, Skye wouldn't play with a baby doll for more than five minutes before throwing it away and finding something else to do. Currently that's all she plays with, I show her how to hold the baby doll and how to feed her and keep her warm and she sits with it for hours, she even now insists on taking it out in her little pram to the shops with us. I feel like teaching her about babies and how to treat them before Daisy is born, will help in the long run. Plus, the baby doll keeps her occupied for a while so I can get a few things done.

7. Housework will still be there in the morning. If you are too tired, you are too tired, don't make it worse by dragging the hoover around the house, unless of course the little one has sprinkled and tramped muesli into the carpet. Just set aside three things to do each day and then leave it at that. Yes, the washing up will stay on the side a little longer, it doesn't matter, your health is more important than your house.

8. Talk to someone. Sometimes, feeling like you are struggling badly and feeling very down can mean that you are suffering with prenatal depression, please don't let yourself suffer in silence. If you are feeling very down and unable to cope, the best thing to do is get to the doctor and tell him how you are feeling, that is what they are there for. 

Thank you for reading, I hope this could be of help to someone! If anyone has any other advice to add, please leave a comment! 

 

OOTD Maternity Girl's Date

So, Thursday night Daniel left until the 9th April and since I was feeling pretty sorry for myself, I decided to take a trip on the train with Skye and visit my Grandparents. Luckily some of my friends also live in Bournemouth, so me and another friend, whom is also pregnant, decided that we should have a lovely 'Pregnant ladies date' to Harvester, to catch up and have a good ol' chinwag!

It's odd, I feel more confident and attractive being pregnant and so largely round, than I have ever felt before, so I am using this to my advantage and making an effort with my new silky hair and wearing make-up more often. 

 

Since I am finding it hard to fit into almost any of my old clothing, my outfits are mostly comfy tops with maternity leggings and comfy flats, because my feet are so swollen.

I curled my hair and went for a casual make-up look, with winged eyeliner and some blush.

Outfit

Top: Sainsbury's TU  £12.00

Leggings: H+M Mama £7.99

Shoes: Matalan (Price Unknown)

Necklace: Sainsbury's TU £6.00

Face

Primer: Rimmel Stay Matte Primer

Foundation: Rimmel Wake Me Up Foundation in 103 True Ivory

Concealer: Rimmel Match Perfection 2 in 1 Concealer and Highlighter in 030 Classic Beige

Blush: Rimmel Lasting Finish Blush in 080 Bronze

Mascara: Rimmel Volume Flash in 001 Extreme Black

Eyeliner: Soap and Glory Supercat Eyeliner Pen in Black

Eyebrows: Rimmel Professional Eyebrow Pencil in 004 Black Brown

(I think I need some makeup brand variety)