Every Monday, I plan to post about something meaningful, it could be a happy topic, advice, a topic that people find hard to talk about or something that I feel strongly about.
This weeks topic will be about coping with young children during a second or subsequent pregnancy, since this is something that I am currently experiencing in my own life, if this even helps one person then it will be worthwhile.
Today, I am 34 weeks pregnant, I have a very active four year old and at the moment it's getting hard for me to keep up with her, whilst doing housework/cooking/errands amongst other things, I find myself feeling exhausted by four o'clock and wanting to lounge around. Currently, things are particularly hard because:
A) My husband is away with his ship until 9th April
B) I live an hour or so's drive away from family members
C) I have only recently moved house so I don't have many friends around me.
A lot of people are unhelpful, unless they have had children themselves, they don't grasp how exhausting pregnancy is at the best of times, let alone having to run around after a hyperactive child too, so the most help I would get out of them is, ''You chose to marry a sailor and you chose to get pregnant, get on with it''. I am a stay at home mother, so some of my advice may not be relevant to working mothers.
Here are a few tips from myself and other friends that are currently pregnant with second children:
1. Don't be too hard on yourself, naturally your patience is shorter due to the hormones flooding your body. When you feel yourself getting worked up, leave the room for a few moments and breath. Removing yourself from a situation is far better than taking things too far and upsetting a child.
2. Don't be embarrassed to ask for, or accept help. The chances are, grandma/auntie/god-parents/friends would be happy to give you a hand and take the little one off your hands for an hour or so, even if you use that time to have a cup of tea, put your feet up and have a power nap, that extra hour to yourself will make a world of difference!
3. Sleep at a reasonable time. This was my biggest mistake, I would put Skye to bed, come downstairs and slob out for hours and hours with Dan, playing Xbox or watching movies. Come morning time, I would feel awful and unrested. Get a head start on bed-time, as soon as the first is in bed (hopefully they are good sleepers) have a warm bath or shower, put on some clean pjs and grab a warm milky drink and a book. I find that reading in bed half an hour before sleeping helps my brain to settle, rather than having tons of technology around me
4. Pre-School. If money allows, or if your child is over three, take advantage of the fact that they can get 15 hours free childcare. This is a lifesaver, during most of the time Skye is at pre-school I rest and catch up on washing or something. I really appreciate those few hours to myself and I feel much more relaxed after that.
5. Structured activities. Some children have very short attention spans, this makes it even harder to keep them occupied because you have to have activity after activity available. Planning your day accordingly, if you do have a child that isn't occupied for long, will help because it ensures that you aren't running yourself ragged trying to find something else for them to do. For example: Painting, Play-do, a trip to the park, puzzles or games are all things that most children enjoy (Plus, if you tidy up after each small activity, it saves your child trashing the house in boredom and there is less to do at the end of the day).
6. Get the little one involved! When I first got pregnant, Skye wouldn't play with a baby doll for more than five minutes before throwing it away and finding something else to do. Currently that's all she plays with, I show her how to hold the baby doll and how to feed her and keep her warm and she sits with it for hours, she even now insists on taking it out in her little pram to the shops with us. I feel like teaching her about babies and how to treat them before Daisy is born, will help in the long run. Plus, the baby doll keeps her occupied for a while so I can get a few things done.
7. Housework will still be there in the morning. If you are too tired, you are too tired, don't make it worse by dragging the hoover around the house, unless of course the little one has sprinkled and tramped muesli into the carpet. Just set aside three things to do each day and then leave it at that. Yes, the washing up will stay on the side a little longer, it doesn't matter, your health is more important than your house.
8. Talk to someone. Sometimes, feeling like you are struggling badly and feeling very down can mean that you are suffering with prenatal depression, please don't let yourself suffer in silence. If you are feeling very down and unable to cope, the best thing to do is get to the doctor and tell him how you are feeling, that is what they are there for.
Thank you for reading, I hope this could be of help to someone! If anyone has any other advice to add, please leave a comment!
